Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 11:17
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
And the sadness?
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
How do I separate the vocals of two different people speaking in a single channel?
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
It’s here now, writing to you.
Be who you already are.
You are like me, then.
I was tired of fighting.
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
Neanderthals Spread Across Asia With Surprising Speed—and Now We Know How - Gizmodo
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
It’s still here.
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
Have you had any paranormal activity situations happen personally to you or someone you know?
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
Former NFL QB says Shedeur Sanders was custom-made for Stefanski’s offense - Dawgs By Nature
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
The sadness was still there.
Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
I was tired of trying and failing.
I had run out of hope.
How to draft a will to avoid becoming an AI ghost—it’s not easy - Ars Technica
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.